Saturday, January 17, 2009

Should be cleaning

Do you ever have one of those days, where you know you should be doing one thing and yet you do another? Today is one of those days, I can't tell you how much I don't want to be cleaning right now and thus the reason for me sitting here typing this post. I feel so thankful today for all the wonderful people in my life, I wish I was a better friend to all of you! Truth be told, I'm not very good at being a friend, I'm a little shy and unsure of myself which makes it hard for me to call people and be like "Hey, what's up? How are you?" and so to all of you, sorry. I would really like to be a better friend however, and really let go of all my inhibitions (I really hope that was the right word) this year. I'll sit at church by myself in Relief Society wishing that someone would come and sit by me and start talking to me, but it never happens. It's occured to me however, that I need to be the one to make the move, perhaps there's someone else like me sitting there wishing that someone would come and sit by them, perhaps I'm meant to be that person. However, it's easier said than done, I am not very good at talking to people I don't know. I wish I were, but unfortunately I still worry too much about what they think of me, why as humans are we so obsessed with what people think about us? Why does it matter? They don't really know us, if they don't like us, then so what? There's a lot of other people out there to meet, and I'm sure unless you're a complete grouch then someone is going to like you. Yet, we are all (most of us anyway) worried about what other people think, and so it's almost like we live for someone else, not ourselves. What does one have to do (me in particular) to totally be themselves and not worry for a second what other people think of us? I wish so badly that I could answer that question! That would be such freedom!! Wow, I sure have rambled on and on, but I guess the main point I want to get across with this post, is that I absolutely LOVE all the amazing friends that I have! You are all the best. LeeAnn, thanks for all the time you spend with me, I absolutely love talking to you and being there for you. Holly and Annie, to the best two highschool buddies one could ever ask for, thanks for getting me through those years. Heather, thanks so much to you and your family for your love and friendship, you guys mean so much to us, we really miss you! McKenna, thanks so much for your advice and teaching me valuable lessons through your trials. You truly are a gift to all those who know you, hang in there! Jenna, thanks so much for your friendship, you and Seth are awesome and I don't think you realize how much we look up to you. You are an amazing person and friend, and it means a lot to me to be able to call you my friend. To anyone I've forgotten, just know that you are amazing people, to my family and my husbands family (who I consider my own family) I love you all so much and am forever grateful for the blessings I have received by being in your circle! I just love so many people right now that it would be impossible to give a shout out to everyone. Last but not least, my wonderful husband, he is such an amazing person, who loves and supports me no matter what. Even when I make mistakes, he is quick to forgive and love me despite my flaws. Hope this wasn't a bore, it's really long, and if you made it all the way to the end, then you really must love me. Thanks so much to everyone who has touched my life!!

2 comments:

Wright Bunch said...

Jessica, you truly are amazing. You are such a great friend, much better than i think you know. Really i think if i were ever in real trouble you are the first person i would call because i know you would do anything to help me. You are truly a great friend to have. We do need to get together soon. Thanks again for all you are. You're the best. And yes i love you- i read to the end :)

Robin said...

Wow Jess I am so sorry for all your medical stuff going on with your little girl! There is nothing harder than something hard going on with your child that you can't control. Good luck! I will pray for her that everything will heal itself!