Our little princess Zoe

I can't believe my little Zoe is almost four years old. It's crazy how fast the time flies! She still seems like such a baby to me, I really need to see and treat her as a big girl now. She is definitely our little princess and sometimes changes her outfits three or four times a day. She is also a little instigator, she likes to pester her siblings, especially her little brother. I wish she understood that his screaming isn't a good thing, even though she obviously finds it funny because she's usually giggling. She says some of the funniest things and is pretty good at making us all laugh. I love her prayers and she loves to say them. She takes things a little too seriously sometimes, like when we play the wii and she wants her mii to show up or be put in the right barrel and if it doesn't happen she'll cry. She loves to give hugs and she usually makes them long ones. When she wakes up at night she'll come in and ask if she can sleep with us for a little while. One time she came in and fell asleep in bed with me, when I finally picked her up to move her back to her own bed she asked "has it been 10 minutes?". I am SO glad that this little angel is in our family, I love her very much! I hope you have a great birthday and another great year Zoe!! We love you very much!! Happy birthday on Wednesday my little zower mower!!

Updates

So, I updated the pictures and the look of my blog so I decided that I should also give a little update blog as well. Things are going well here, Randy is loving his job and the girls love school. I love being at home (most days) and spending some time with just Zoe and JD. Have I mentioned how much I enjoy having a little boy here? Oh my goodness he is a cute little bug!! I love my kids, even on the days where I've had enough of their "I don't need to listen to you" attitude I still love them. They are beautiful and smart kids, I'm constantly amazed with Hailey and how smart she is. I love the things they say and I'm so grateful for their forgiveness when I make mistakes. There will be more of an update, with pictures, but right now I have to go get Zoe dressed so we don't have a little naked girl running around the house!

Healthy Lifestyle

So my friends, the time has come to change my lifestyle habits. I actually started changing them in January but it's been a long up hill battle, I do have 20 pounds lost to show for it, but it should have been more. I'm still working hard, and I've started exercising along with dieting now. I started P90X on May 11th, but I'm only on week 5, confused? Looking at the calender and saying, but Jessica, that doesn't add up! Yeah, that's because I took about a week off due to sickness and then vacation. It was really hard to get back in to things after our St. George trip and I just started up again on Wednesday, but then I had a Relief Society activity last night and I ate more than I should have. Why is it so hard to be good when you're at functions like that? I wish I had the willpower to say no to desserts and definitely no to seconds (of dinner and desserts). I am human though and I make bad choices just like everyone else, I just can't wait until a night like that every once in a while won't set me back. While I'm in the mode of weight loss though I really should refrain from doing that, but oh well, as long as I get back on the horse and try very hard not to get off again. I've talked to a few people who have also done P90X and the South Beach Diet and she said the first two weeks went really well, so I'm planning on doing phase one of the South Beach Diet but also staying under my 1200 calories. The week after that we'll be camping and I'm going to focus on planning meals that can be made fairly healthy for me, although, it's really hard to diet when you're not at home, so I plan on going on the phase 1 after we get home and complete the full two weeks. I'm really hoping to get back on schedule to meet my goal by mid-September. Currently I'm 4 pounds away from my marriage weight, which is pretty cool, unfortunately that's still 25 to 30 pounds away from my goal weight. Baby steps, baby steps, I have to just focus on the day to day and not think about how far I have to go. I'm also really clueless as to how I'm going to maintain my weight once it's gone, I'm not sure how to up my calorie count without losing weight. Do you have any tips for me? I will take any at this point.

In other news, our little family is doing well, Hailey is done with school and her week of summer camp that she had. It's nice and not so nice to have her home, she's definitely excited for school to start and is very excited to go to second grade. Katie will start Kindergarten this year, I hope Zoe will handle being the only one (besides JD) not in school, when the other two girls were going to school Zoe would tell them how she had her school. I have no idea what she's referring to, cause I certainly never did school with her, I really should though, I think that would make the transition next year easier for her. Zoe is our little mischievous one, she pesters her sisters (and brother) a LOT and pays for it by getting hit, then she comes crying to me. Sometimes it's all I can do not to slap her and Katie silly when they get going. When they get along, they do awesome and they have so much fun with each other. Sometimes I look at my kids and realize how amazing life is, that we start out so little and helpless and eventually we grow up and our bodies change. It strengthens my testimony of our loving Heavenly Father, there's no way life would be possible without a higher being over all of it. I love this gospel so much and I'm so thankful to have it in my life, I don't know what I would do without it!

Well, that's enough I hope that whoever reads this is doing great, cause I'm certainly trying to do just that!

Skinny People

Ever notice how when you buy a new car suddenly you notice that everyone drives that car? That's how I feel right now with skinny people. I am struggling BIG time with losing weight, I've been dieting since January 10th, and I keep having set backs where I stop dieting for about a week or so and then I get back to it. Therefore, I have been stuck in the 160's since March. I'm very VERY tired of being overweight, but especially of being stuck around 166. I feel like all the people around me are super skinny, and it makes me feel like a fat blob. Why is it SO hard to eat healthy, not just eat healthy but actually diet?? I want to lose weight so bad, the desire is there but apparently no drive cause I'm not going anywhere. I looked over a couple of the different diets that I've done, and I got really motivated, and I think I may have figured out where my mistakes have been that's been keeping me stuck. Then, not even two hours later, I'm feeling depressed and hopeless again. Is it too much to ask of myself to change a few things?? Why am I so scared to change even when I don't like how things currently are? I know what changes would help me feel better about myself and yet they're the things I'm most scared to give up. Why am I holding on to things that are so hurtful to me? I know that through Christ ALL things are possible so why am I not willing to make that leap? Why don't I have the faith to say, "Ok Father, I'm ready to really give this a go, will you help me?" I feel like I've prayed for help with these issues before, but I don't think I really had any intention to change. I'm scared and I don't know why, I know that these changes would make me a happier and better person, wouldn't you think I'd be jumping at the chance?? I want to change, but I'm not sure at all how to actually go about it, and I'm scared. So.... that's where I am.

On a more positive note, JD turned one on Sunday, I can't believe it's already been a year! Oh how I love my little man, sometimes I just watch him play and try to figure things out and it never fails to amaze me that he is a little person with his own little thoughts. I watched some of the videos we took of him in his first moments of life and it never ceases to amaze me. The miracle of birth is astounding to me! All of us are created inside someone else, it's unbelievable! How can anyone doubt that there's a higher being who is over everything. Anyway, enough of that, we had a lot of time partying with family. JD mostly got clothes which is great because kids always need clothes, he also got a singing card from his great-grandma Grimes, and I think it might have won the favorite gift award. He would open it and shake his head with a grin on his face. He played with that for probably 5 to ten minutes (which is a long time for a one year old) it was so fun to watch him "dance". He is still small for his age, but he's staying on his own curve, so I'm not worried about him, his oldest sister is still small. He weighed in at 16 pounds 1 ounce yesterday at his WIC appointment, that's up almost a pound I think since the last time he went in which was in March, so I'd say he's doing pretty darn good!

In other news, Hailey's school has been doing a program called "Reading on Down the Road" where they challenged students her age to read 1000 minutes by April 30th and they'll get a t-shirt, and I am happy to say she is going to make that goal! I am so proud of her, I never did these sort of things while I was in school and I always regretted it, and I am so glad that I've been able to help her accomplish this. I've been reading Harry Potter to them every night just before they go to bed and it's been a lot of fun for me, plus, it helps them go to sleep better (Zoe is usually asleep within the first five minutes or so of me ready).

Katie is just about done with Preschool, and I can't wait to be done paying for it! She is really excited to go to school with Hailey next year! She has such an amazing memory, I am constantly blown away by how well she remembers stuff. She still can be quite challenging sometimes because she is so stubborn, maybe that memory thing isn't so great after all. Just kidding, I'm very excited, a good memory will really help her out in life (I wish I had that).

Since I've given an update on all the others, I can't forget Zoe. What can I say about my little Zoe, I am so grateful that she is in our home, that little stinker is awesome! I love her so much, it's amazing to me how much families all fit together! Zoe will be so happy to go to school, she already talks about "her school" I don't have a clue where she comes up with all the stuff she does in "her school" cause I don't do any of it. I really should take time out and come up with a "school" she can go to. She is excited to be a big kid like her sisters, and I need to let her be a big kid. I know I baby her, and I'm not sure why, I guess when there's older kids in the house 3 doesn't seem as old as it does when your first child is 3. I have no idea if that made sense or not, oh well, if it didn't just read it a few times and think about it, it might eventually make sense.

Well that's that, I'm really hoping to start writing regularly here, so that I have a journal of some sorts, it would be good to write down experiences somewhere and I'm not sure why, but it just seems easier to blog than to write in a journal. Although, both would probably be good. Anyway, until next time!!

Change

So.... I feel like we've dealt with a lot of change in the past 5 weeks around here. The first and biggest change has been Randy's new job, it's been interesting to get used to that, the second is that JD is now on formula. That was a hard switch for me (which actually kind of surprised me because I bottle fed my first two kids) I felt guilty and like I wasn't enough because I couldn't give him what he needed. However, I am better now, and I am just excited to see him so happy and content. He has been so much better since Sunday (which is when we made the switch) and I'm hoping that he'll go back to gaining weight! You see, he lost weight and both his WIC appointment and his doctors appointment, but what really sealed the decision in my mind (I'd been thinking about since the Tuesday before the Sunday we made the switch) was when Randy sweetly commented that maybe we should supplement him with a bottle. He said when he bathed him he could see JD's ribs, and that was it, I was done. So I gave him a bottle, and I think that day I already noticed a difference. So now, I don't need to stress about whether or not he's getting enough, it's EXTREMELY relieving!!

Valentine's day is coming up soon, I have no idea what I'm going to do, right now, I don't want to do anything. When did I turn in to such a party poop? For the most part I'm content to just sit at home and watch a movie here. I think this year I want to make it more about my entire family, not just my husband. I'd like to come up with a way that I can make it special for my kids too, I want them to feel especially loved on Valentines day, what are some things you guys do for your family? Feel free to leave me with some ideas!

So I don't have much to say, things are going good. Randy is very excited about his new job, he's had training for the past couple of days and he'll actually start his job next Wednesday, he can't wait! He was actually hoping he would start this week, but he's done after tomorrows training. Then the real adjustment will start, I think we're all ready for it to come though so we can start adjusting. I took Katie to the doctor this morning, I was pretty sure she had a kidney infection, however they didn't get enough urine for a culture but they had enough to do a stick test which showed that it was an infection they just don't know what kind. So they gave her an antibiotic shot and then we also started oral antibiotics that she'll take every 12 hours for ten days (or until it's gone). Poor thing has not been feeling well at all today, I really hope that she'll be better tomorrow. We went to bed at midnight last night and she came in our room 3 times between then and 3 or 3:30 when she came in our room and threw up. She had it in her hair, on her hands, her feet, our carpet, our sheet. It was awful, and it smelled SO bad, I thought she had an accident as well, but nope just throw up (sorry if that's too much information). So we had to get her in the bathtub, poor thing, it was an awful experience. After I washed her hair there were too many floaties in it so we had to drain the tub and refill it, but along with her fever she had the chills. She was shaking SO bad!! So we got her bathed and then I blow dried her hair and sent her back to bed with a bucket in case she needed to throw up again. Then when she woke up this morning she came in to my room and announced that she had to throw up, so I told her to go to the bathroom. While she threw up she also peed, so we had to clean up that mess, however, I would rather clean up a pee accident then throw up. So then the rest of the morning was filled with taking her to the doctor which was crazy! I got home at noon, and at about 1:30 I crashed on the couch while they watched The Cat in the Hat. I know that we're not supposed to use the TV as a babysitter, but I sure am glad for the option on days like today. Other than that we're all doing well here! I am so grateful that she doesn't have anything contagious that I have to worry about the other kids getting. It's been awhile since I've posted pictures here, I'll try to remedy that soon, but not tonight. I really need to go to bed as well!! So, until next time, which I'm hoping will be soon because I want Sam to also write a new post. We have a deal going on now where she'll write a new post after I do. So....get writing Sam!