One week to go

Only one more week until Christmas!! I am so excited, I can't wait for the kids to open their presents. I will also be finding out what we're having on Christmas! I am excited and nervous all at the same time. I love this time of year though, it's one of my favorite times. Although, it's not quite the same when you're the grown up, but I still love it. Especially for my kids now, they are so excited for Christmas, Hailey made a chain at school and every morning she takes a chain off then counts how many days are left. I really don't have more to say, so this will probably be a short post which is totally unlike any of my other posts. All those who know me know I'm a talker :)

I guess I'll leave with something that Hailey did last night, I was sitting on the couch and she came and stood in front of me, and while sort of crying said she didn't want to be a mom, I made sure I heard her right and sure enough that's what she'd said. So I asked her why she didn't want to be a mom and she said "Because I don't want to leave you" I tried not to laugh as I could see she was really concerned about this. So I reassured her that I would always be there, and then I said that she had years to wait for that so not to worry about it right now. It's funny what kids choose to worry about. What silly gooses!! Right now Hailey is pretending to be Zoe, funny thing is she put on a diaper all by herself (or with Katie's help I'm not sure). Zoe wears a size 5 diaper, and it fits Hailey, also, she is wearing one of Zoe's onesies and, you guessed it, it fits! I can't believe how small Hailey still is. She weighed herself the other day, 32.2 pounds. Wow, Katie is almost caught up to her. I always get asked if they are twins. I can't tell you how many times I've said the words "No, they're actually two years apart, she's just small" I don't think they look like twins at all! Oh well. Anywho, now I really have nothing else to say, so au revoir!! I hope everyones last week to Christmas goes well!!

The Return

FINALLY!! We have our computer back, it's working for now but we're also getting another one. This one is so dead, hopefully the one we're getting will be better. We also have our van back, YEAH!! We were told it needed a new transmission so we parked it for 6 months, and the battery died. About a month ago we bought a new battery so that I could at least use it to take Hailey to school. Then Randy's grandma wanted to help us get it fixed so she paid to have us take it to another car garage. The guy there looked at it, he said the transmission fluid was low so he filled it then re-set the transmission and told us to bring it back in a week to run a diagnostic. So we drove it for a week, took it back, had the diagnostic run on it, and it was fine! Nothing came up. So now we just need to get the windshield replaced, have safety and emissions done and get it registered. I can't wait, we're getting a cash back check from our car insurance and we're going to use that to pay for it. So we'll be doing it all on the 18th (hopefully). It is so nice to have a vehicle again, I don't go a lot of places but it's nice to have the option!!

In way of other news, we're doing great!! We're getting ready for Christmas, and getting more and more excited every day! LeeAnn (for those of you that don't know, she's my sister-in-law) is going to stay here with us on Christmas Eve, I'm really excited for her to be here. So far the girls have made it pretty easy, the only thing Hailey talks about getting is a remote control truck, and Katie says she wants the same thing. So as long as we get that for them I think they'll be happy!! I'm excited too because I know what I'm going to get Randy and I'm pretty sure he'll like it, I'm not going to say what it is, but I am really excited to get it for him. I'm also excited and a little nervous to find out if we're having a boy or a girl. I would love a boy, but at the same time, I think I'd be a little scared to have a boy, I'm so used to girls. We'll just have to wait and see, I'm excited no matter what the outcome. If you want to take a guess as to what we're having, you'll probably want to get your guesses in now.

Well, I've rattled on and on for long enough, hope I didn't bore you too much, just wanted to get ya'll caught up!

Pictures

This is Katie on her birthday, I think she likes being the center of attention

These are some of the gifts that Katie got, we let Zoe model them too

Katie got a tea set, and they decided they wanted a tea party with cookies and gummy treats

Here's Katie will all her birthday jewelry on. She's such a cute kid

Here's Hailey modeling all her jewelry, they all looked so cute!

Here's all of the girls, Zoe doesn't look very happy

Here is the snowman Hailey made, Virginia helped with the face and the crown.

Here they all are with the snowman

Katie bundled up for the cold weather, they sure love the snow!

Here's Zoe, I love her grin.

This was sometime this fall, she looked so cute, I had to take a picture

Zoe was a "fierce" lion, I love this shot because you can't see her face.

Again, our "fierce" lion! I love the binky!

Here's Katie, she wanted to be a ghost just like Hailey

Hailey climbed up in Virginia's trunk when she was done. She was content to eat and pass out candy

I love how photogenic this girl is. This was sometime this fall, Randy raked the leaves so they could play in them.

Here are all three playing

Hailey, Zoe and Eva. They had so much fun!

*HUGS*

She is so stinkin' cute!! I really wish I was this photogenic!

Still here

Wow, it's been so long since I've been able to post anything. We haven't had a computer for a couple of weeks now. Our desktop just decided to not turn on, and the cord for our laptop isn't working so it doesn't charge the laptop. So we've only had our Ipods, which wouldn't be fun to write a post on, so it's been kind of sad. Anyway, but we're still here, we're all doing well. Hailey is loving school and the boys there. Katie turns four tomorrow, we had her birthday party yesterday, it was a lot of fun. Zoe is cute and a stinker at the same time, she must be in the terrible two stage. I have learned so much through Zoe, I am so thankful to have her in our family. We've been talking a lot about the gender of this baby that's coming, and I am so grateful for the lessons I've learned from Zoe. I don't know how many know this, but when I was pregnant with Zoe I thought for sure I was having a boy, and when I found out it was a girl I had a hard time with it. I felt disappointed, and upset, and I was irrational. Then a week later once I picked out her name then I got excited. I have learned that Heavenly Father knows what he is doing. I love my little Zoe SOOO much!! I can't imagine life without her, I'm grateful for the opportunity I've had to go through this experience. If we have another little girl I am going to be so excited!! I seriously am excited for whatever we have, of course I'm hoping for a boy but it won't matter one bit if it's not! I love my kids so much, they all have a part in our family that is irreplaceable!! So I have a TON of pictures I've wanted to post, we have some fun times here. One major thing that has happened that I'm REALLY excited about, we gave our guinea pigs to a good family! Yeah!!!! I don't have to take care of them anymore! They were a lot of fun, but more work than I could handle right now. It sounds like they're going to a good family. Little Hailey was quite upset when she got home and I told her, but we are getting her a stuffed hamster that comes with a carrying case, and she's just fine now! I am so glad to have them go to a good home, where they'll play with them and give them attention.

More news, I have my ultrasound on December 22nd, but we're going to ask the technician who does it to put the picture of the gender in an envelope and then we'll open it on Christmas morning. I'm really excited! I think it will be a ton of fun to find out what the baby is with the girls sitting there. So we'll see, I think it will be fun!! Well, I'm going to put an entire post on here with pictures, I hope enjoy!

Halloween

So, Halloween turned out great this year, we went to two trunk-or-treats and then we went and visited my grandma. When we returned home my family and some friends were here and we partied for awhile. It was a lot of fun, at first I was a little worried about how Zoe would react to all the costumes. When Hailey and Katie got in their costume and we painted their face Zoe was genuinely scared of them! They couldn't come near her, it was kind of funny but frustrating at the same time. Thankfully we went with our good friend Virginia and her daughter so she took Hailey and Katie in her car. By the time we got to the first trunk or treat Zoe was finally ok with them. She was so cute saying trick or treat and then thank you. All the girls did well, Hailey was so independent it kind of drove me nuts because we had to keep calling her back and she'd get frustrated that we were going so slow. We went to a trunk or treat in Woodland hills (Virginia's in-laws live up there and invited us to go) there was a guy there who was dressed up and when Katie went up to him either he made a noise or something in his car did, but it scared Katie really bad. She dropped her candy bag, screamed and ran behind Randy. She didn't seem to care about her candy bag, she just knew she didn't want to be by him. It was HILARIOUS!! They had a lot of fun, unfortunately now they have a lot of candy. We only let them have a little bit at a time, but MAN!!! It doesn't take much sugar in their blood stream (especially Hailey) to give them a TON more energy. I'll tell ya, I'm ready to sell them for a few days! Of course, I could never do that, because even though sometimes I'm ready to, I love them, and they are cute! Hopefully I'll be able to post pictures from Halloween soon, I have to install the program on the laptop because our desk top isn't working right now. Well, until then, enjoy!!

Slacker

Wow, I've been such a slacker lately, I'm sorry. We worked on our computer for a couple of days and for the past few the monitor has been our tv so I haven't felt like using the wireless keyboard and I haven't had time to sit down and type. Anyway, I have so much to blog about, Zoe had her 2nd birthday, it was a lot of fun! I love her so much, our family wouldn't be the same without her, she is such a cutie!! I do have some pictures, I'll post some hopefully soon. So I set up my doctor appointment today, I'll go in for blood work and the insurance talk on November 3rd and then I'll actually see my doctor on the 6th. It's crazy that they're that far out! I went to Baby Your Baby and got on that, and now I am in the process of applying for Medicaid. I hate getting stuff like this, but it helps SOO much! I guess if we qualify why not, right?

So I'm finishing this post finally, it's a few days later but better late than never right? So our computer isn't working, it won't turn on so I am using our laptop (thank Heaven we didn't give it away) we erased everything on it and it works so much better now. It's nice to have a back up, hopefully PC laptops can fix it, if not, we're in trouble. So anyway, life is going ok I guess, we're hanging in there. This month has been a hard one, I've had really great ups but really bad lows. Do you ever just want someone to talk to who won't say anything back but the occasional ya uh-huh or nod of the head? Someone who will focus on JUST you for maybe five or ten minutes? Lately I feel really alone in that arena, it's great that I have Randy who listens to me, but being a guy he wants to fix it when I just want someone to listen. I know I used to be the kind that just talked and talked about myself (Heather can attest to this), but I've really tried to be better about that and listen to others and be there for them. I feel like I've really improved in this area (I could be wrong, but I'm hoping I'm not), but every once in a while, it would be really nice to be the one focused on and venting frustrations. Perhaps the answer I'm looking for is as simple as prayer, maybe I just need to learn to pray with ALL my heart and learn to meditate and feel His spirit. Maybe then I'll receive the spiritual nods, uh-huh's and yups I'm seeking. How come the simplest answers always seem to be the hardest things to do? Oh well.

So, on a more positive note, this week is Red Ribbon Week at Hailey's school, they have a few fun activities going on, like tomorrow! It's crazy hair and sock day and CAN"T wait!! I am going to do Hailey's hair crazy and let her borrow some of my toe socks, I'm going to put them on over her pants. I think it will be so much fun! Then on Friday it's their Halloween party and I volunteered to help, I'm excited to be able to be there for that. They also have a parade at 10 that morning, how fun! Then of course Halloween is on Saturday, and it will be fun to take the girls around to get some treats (parents are allowed to share right?) I'm way excited to see them all dressed up. Hailey and Katie are going to be ghosts and Zoe will be the Lion, the same one that the other two girls have been. My sweet mom sewed Hailey and Katie's costumes, she was here until 3:40 the other morning sewing, and then she had to come back the next day to finish. I love that woman!! Wow, this post is really long, if you made it to the end of this post you're a real trooper! I'm sure I'll have more later, and hopefully I'll be able to post pictures soon! Until next time, talk to you later!!

Fall

I am absolutely LOVING this weather right now! It's fun to be able to wear scarves and hats and not be so blasted hot!! I walked to go get Hailey today ( I got to go by myself which was nice too) and it was such a nice walk! Yesterday I was a little down and stressed out and I decided I wanted to change my attitude so I bundled up the girls and we went outside for some excercise. We raced up and down our parking lot, it was really nice to get out and spend some real time with them. I think they all enjoyed it, after a few minutes Eva and Virginia (our neighbor and her little girl) joined us as well. We all had a lot of fun!

So I made a couple of suggestions to Hailey for her Halloween costume and I think she wants to be a Ghost now, which makes me happy because that won't be too hard to make and it won't cost very much. I haven't talked to Katie yet, and I think I'll either have Zoe be a Lion (the same costume the other two have worn for a few years) or an M&M, I'm not sure yet. I am not a huge fan of Halloween, I don't mind it, but I don't get extremely excited for it. It just seems to cost a lot of money. Oh well, then Christmas is right around the corner, now that's a scary thought!! I can't believe we're almost to the end of another year, it's crazy!! Another thing that's crazy, my baby is going to be 2!!! Zoe's birthday is next Monday the 12th, I can't believe it's already been two years!! It seems to have gone by so fast! She has been so much fun to have around, I love them all so much, I can't imagine what life would be like without them. Ok, so I could...quiet! It wouldn't be near as much fun though! I am very excited for the future though, I'm really excited to see how these next 90 days play out, Randy's made some goals that I'm excited to see him meet, I love watching him change and grow and become a better man (I wouldn't have thought it possible, but believe me, it just keeps getting better!!) I love him so much, there are some days I don't know why he ever picked me, I'm just grateful he did!! Well, this has been sappy enough so I guess I'll end it, but I thought I'd share some pictures of the girls all bundled up to go outside because they look SO stinkin' cute!! Enjoy, I have one of Hailey that I was going to post, but for some reason it didn't transfer over from our camera and now the battery is dead. So, I will add her picture later! For now enjoy these.

Katie wanted to wear the ski mask, except that she said they were to go under water.

Here she is with her Santa hat on, and my scarf.

Cute little Zoe!! I love this kid so much!!

Pictures

Ok, so I've been promising pictures for awhile now and haven't gotten around to it so now I am. These are just a few that I thought I'd share, including pictures of Hailey's first day of school.

Katie bein cute!!

My neighbor made this skirt for Zoe, it is so cute!!

Hailey and Katie got themselves dressed so I decided to put Zoe in a dress too

They love spinning in this chair

Hailey's first day of school, she was so stinking cute!! I gave her a necklace to wear so that if she got scared she would have something of mine. I doubt she needed it, but it was a nice thought right?

Crazy, weddings, life, babies

Ok, so that title doesn't really make sense, but it seemed like fun to me! So last Saturday my mother-in-law got married, it is so nice to finally have it over with. It's such an odd thing to have her be married, I'm excited for her and am so glad that she's not alone anymore, but it's very different. Hopefully everyone will adjust quickly. We're all doing good, I'm excited for the cooler temperatures, it makes it nicer to walk Hailey to and from school. I wish I could say that I was losing weight because of it, but I'm not. Oh well, that will come soon enough. Hailey is LOVING school, I'm so glad, it makes things so much easier. Katie has been doing pretty well, but she's been having some melt downs that last for 30 to 45 minutes depending on the melt down. It's very hard to deal with, but once she's done with it, she goes back to being sweet kind cute Katie. We don't really understand what's going on with her, hopefully we'll be able to figure it out soon enough. Zoe is also having some problems, lately she doesn't like getting dressed. It's very frustrating, today she walked around in just a pull up for about an hour because I didn't want to fight her to get her dressed, it was a big enough fight just to get the pull up on her (I used a pull up because it's easier then a diaper). Then she tripped in the hall upstairs and she smacked her head in to the door frame, and now she has a goose bump and bruise on the side of her forehead. After that, I was holding her while she was playing with a toy and it pinched her hand. Poor thing didn't have a very good 10 or 15 minutes. Randy is doing well, I'm so excited for his business, he's really doing it this time and it's exciting and fun to see him get excited over it. I'm glad he's finally doing something he can really get behind. We're contemplating looking for another job for him, RC Willey has been good, but it's not providing enough income for us. So, we'll see how that goes in the next while or so. I'm doing alright, things are going along normal so far. I'm tired of feeling naseous, I don't remember if I felt this sick with the other ones or not. I never throw up, I just feel like I need to, sometimes all day long. I've had a couple of days where I have been sick at all, those were glorious!! Other than that, I'm tired a lot and unmotivated which has wreaked havoc on our house. I am so overwhelmed with all that I need to get done it's depressing. Oh well, you do what you've gotta do. Anyway, sorry this post is so long, it's been a while and there's a few things to say I guess. Well, I'll have to post pictures from the wedding soon, it was a lot of fun and we have some great pictures from the night. Anyway, until then, adios!!

Rain

I love rain, but I must admit, it makes it not very much fun to walk Hailey to and from school. It was kind of muggy and while we were walking there it rained on us. Hailey had an umbrella and so did I, but pushing a bike trailer up hill while holding an umbrella is difficult. Hailey is loving school, I'm so glad that she likes it, I hope she continues to like it until the end of the year. Today has been a mostly yucky day, I haven't felt that great all day, I finally feel a little better. We are now watching Jimmy Neutron for the fourth time today, at least they like it. Things here are going well, my mother in law gets married on Saturday, I'm glad for her that it's almost over. They might be moving to Springville, she seems really excited about it, I hope it works out for the best. I'm awful, I still haven't posted pictures of Hailey's first day of Kindergarten, I have a couple, I also have a video of her while we were walking to school. She is such a cute girl, I love her SO much. Zoe is now letting us know exactly what she wants. Yesterday after breakfast she was pointing in to the kitchen so I followed her and she pointed up to where we keep her sippy cups. So I got her some strawberry milk. Then tonight she pointed up the stairs so I followed her up, she led me to the bathroom door and put her hand on the knob, so I opened it, she walked over the the tub and looked at me while pointing. It was very funny, unfortunately I wasn't ready to bath her right then. What a monkey! Katie has had a couple of days where she's had some of her classic fits, but overall she's doing well, I love her so much, she is so funny. I love it when she tells stories because she is so animated! I wonder what our new little one will be like, I can't wait to find out if it's a boy or a girl, Hailey and Katie are sure it's a boy, at least that's what they say it is. I'm not sure if that's because that's genuinely what they think it is, or if it's because I've asked them before if they would like a baby brother. We'll just have to wait and see. It's funny because it's odd to think that I'm actually pregnant, I'm not entirely sure why, it just is. Well, hopefully I'll post some pictures soon, there's a couple of really good ones!! Until next time!

Baby #4

Here we go! I took the test this morning, despite many attempts of others to have me take it last night. It was positive!! Two pink lines, wow, I can't believe it. It seems so strange, we're very excited to be heading down this road again. I told Hailey today, and she was very excited as well, I don't think she can understand the time concept and how long it will take. So for the next little while probably, I'll be asked every day when the baby will come. That's ok, I'm so excited to be able to share this with her. She's old enough now to really understand, and it will be fun to let her feel my belly when the baby starts to move. I still can't believe it!! Since January I've been tracking my cycles, it will be odd to not have to do that anymore, I've also been taking my temperature every morning with a basal body thermometer every morning since then too. It will be weird to be done with all of that. I've very excited to find out what we're having, if it's a boy we'll name him Joseph David and call him JD. If it's a girl (I haven't talked this over with Randy so this may not be the name but I like it) I think we'll name her Madelyn Sierra and we could call her Maddi I really like that name. Anyway, I'm sorry to keep going on about this, I'm just very excited.

In other news, Hailey is starting afternoon kindergarten on Monday. I was really hoping that she would have morning kindergarten, but oh well. I'll definitely be getting my exercise in! It will probably turn out to be a very good thing. She is very excited! Every day she asks how many days until she goes to school. My little girl is growing up! We're also approaching Zoe's second birthday, I can't believe my baby will be two!! It's crazy how fast time flies! It's so fun to listen to her talk, especially when she's playing with her friend Eva, they talk to each othe rin their own little language. It so cute!! Well, I think that's all I'm going to write for today, I think I'll take the girls on a walk to see how long it takes to walk to Hailey's school so I'm ready for Monday! Until next time, have fun!!

A long time again!

Wow, it's been a very long time since I've written, again. I just don't feel like I have much to write about, and I don't really know if people read this blog or not. Well, I know some of you do, so thanks!! Hailey starts Kindergarten on Monday, it's pretty crazy, we asked for morning kindergarten but she got afternoon, which is going to stink. We only have one vehicle right now so I'm going to be walking to pick her up everyday and two days out of the week I'll have to walk her to school as well. Thankfully Virginia is just a couple of doors down so when it gets cold or it's rainy I can leave the other two kids with her. The other thing that will make it not much fun is that hopefully I'll be pregnant also, but at least it will get me doing some exercise, it probably will turn out to be a really good thing. So I should know by Saturday morning if I'm pregnant or not, I don't really think I am, but then all this week I have felt sick to my stomach at LEAST once every day. My brain is also extremely useless which, lets face it it's been that way for a while now. So yeah, I really wish it was Sunday and this week was over, Randy's been working a lot this week to get his stupid extra hours in! I hate this stupid program he's on! He'll be working from about 11 tomorrow morning until 9, and then on Saturday from 9:45 until 9 that night. I HATE it!!! Oh well, it's almost over!

On another note, Randy's mom is getting married on the 19th of October and I finally found my dress, I'm so EXCITED!! It's gorgeous, I feel bad though because it cost quite a bit but she told me the slide show better be a darn good one!! So, I am going to do my very best! I also have way cute shoes to wear too. I'm happy for my mother-in-law, I hope that it is as good as it seems. So not much else is going on around here, Zoe continues growing and changing at alarming rates. She's talking more now, and it's a lot of fun to hear her trying to imitate what we say. Every liquid drink is water, it's very cute to listen to her say it.

We taught Hailey how to open Rosie's cage so she can get her out and hold her all on her own. This is both a good thing and a bad thing, she holds her like a poor cat. It's good because Rosie is getting the attention she needs, but at the same time she's getting a little too much attention! We also got a new female guinea pig name Mya, she's not the same kind as Rosie, but she's adorable. It's amazing to me how different they are personality wise, it's easy to see the Lord's hand in all things when even guinea pigs are different! I think they'll enjoy having each other for company, as soon as they get used to each other. Anyway, I don't think this blog makes much sense, I kind of skipped around a lot topic wise. I guess that's just the way my brain works, well, that's what has been going on. I'm sure I'll have a lot of fun posts to do soon, with Hailey starting school. She's very excited! Every day she asks, how many days until I go to school? I'm glad she's excited! We get to meet with her teacher on Tuesday to go over the results from the testing they did with her. I'm excited to see if she's ahead, right where she's supposed to be, or behind. Ok, so I wouldn't be excited to find out she's behind, but I am excited to go over the results. Well, for now, I'll talk at ya later!!

Terrified!!

Ok people, this is really ridiculous, but I am terrified to send Hailey to Kindergarten. I don't know why. We finally registered her yesterday and last night I was looking through the papers that they gave us and it seriously made me want to cry. I almost felt sick to my stomach. I don't know why I have so much anxiety over sending her to school. I know she'll absolutely LOVE it!! She loves being around kids and I think she really enjoys learning. It just scares me to send her to that big huge building. I also remember grade school and kids can be so mean! If I really think about it though, school wasn't that bad for me, but sometimes kids were just so mean. I have no idea why I'm so nervous, I don't really worry about anything serious happening to her and if it did, I know with proper actions Hailey would be just fine. We all went through school and somehow we managed to make it out alive. Maybe it's just a fear of the unknown, and once she goes it will be just fine. I have no idea what it is. Randy isn't freaked out at all, in some ways I wish I could be like him. I think I go a little overboard with protectiveness though. Randy plans on just dropping her off outside the door and letting her find her own way in to her class (after the first week and she knows where it is) me on the other hand? I'll probably walk her to her class all the time! I worry about her getting lost and stuff, I know she won't, but it scares me. If I had it my way I'd go with her to school and watch over her all the time. I know that's ridiculous and that her teacher will be there the entire time. She'll be fine, and so will I! I'm just freaking out. Hopefully I'm not alone, but knowing me I probably am. Oh well. I'm sure she'll be fine. Here's to the first year of Kindergarten!

Our Artist

Hailey drew these pictures today, I thought they were really cute, and good for her age. I thought they were worth sharing. So... here they are.

This is Randy

This is me

I'm so glad we have an artist in the family that can draw our portraits!! I love my little Hailey.

Silence booth

Monday night I was wishing for a silence booth, starting about 5:15 and going for an hour, I swear there was constant crying. It started out with Katie, she kept coming to me and saying that Hailey was selling all of their stuff, I told her that Hailey isn't selling anything. So she went back to Hailey (I didn't hear, but I'm assuming that she told Hailey she wasn't going to sell anything and based on the next part of the story she said she was) a few seconds later she comes back crying again saying that Hailey is going to sell their stuff, I told her no matter what Hailey said she's not selling anything. Then a few minutes later I hear Hailey crying so I go over there and ask her what's wrong

Hailey: Katie won't be my cattle
Me: What? ( needed to make sure I heard her right)
Hailey: Katie won't be my cattle
Me: Well if Katie doesn't want to play you can't force her
Hailey: Then who will be my cattle
Me: What about Nala, can't you pretend she's cattle? (Nala is her stuffed Nala from Lion King)
Hailey: No, she's a cat
Me: Well, Katie is a girl and you were going to pretend that she was cattle, can't Nala be a cat pretending to be cattle?
Hailey: But she doesn't know how to say moo

All of this is said while Hailey is crying and I'm trying not to laugh. Well, needless to say Katie didn't want to be a cattle and Hailey got upset and ran to her room. Then Katie and Zoe were fighting over a pink cowgirl hat of theirs, I believe that Zoe had it first and Katie kept taking it from her. So I would come in and give it back to Zoe, which Katie would still take. So I got upset with Katie which made Zoe happy but not Katie, so I asked Katie if she would like a hat, a special hat. So I went upstairs and got my cowgirl hat and gave it to Katie to wear and told her to be careful. As soon as Zoe saw it, you guessed it, she wanted that hat. So I had to tell her no, which she didn't like, of course it was all worse because I'm pretty sure that even though she was in her crib for an hour and a half Zoe didn't take a nap. Then to make things worse, Katie was walking up to Zoe, putting the hat towards her, then running of with the hat. I don't like teasing so I told Katie to stop, and told her that if she did it again she would lose the hat. She did it again so I took the hat away which made them both mad. By the time Randy came home they were still upset. I told him I would love to sit in a silence booth for 15 or 20 minutes and being the wonderful husband that he is he offered to let me go for a ride and do something if I would like. After about 10 minutes however he totally saw why I wanted to go in to a booth. I believe his exact words were something like this.. "Man, no wonder you want to go away for a minute, I've only been home a few minutes and I'm ready to go nuts" what a wonderful hour. Thankfully they all calmed down and bed time came. Oh that wonderful time of day!! I sure love my kids, even on days like this I love them. Life wouldn't be the same without my three little munchkins!!

Flaming Gorge

So last weekend we went to Flaming Gorge and ran the river. Oh my gosh, it was so much fun!! I had never tried river rafting, and I must say, I'm addicted!! I would love to go again very soon. We went with my mom and my little brother and my uncle and his family. My other uncle came up just for the day with some of my cousins so they could go river rafting. Unfortunately I don't have any pictures, we were gone all day Friday pretty much rafting and I didn't want to take our camera for obvious reasons (it's not waterproof). It was a blast though, there's nothing better then spending time with family. I love my uncles and their families and LOVE getting together with them, we don't do it near enough!! Other than that we haven't done much this summer. Just chillin at home (it's too hot to go anywhere!) We have some exciting things coming up, Randy's mom is engaged and they are planning on getting married in September, we also have two family reunions coming up on Randy's side of the family that will be fun. We had fun yesterday at the park, we had a picnic and then we played croquet, the girls ran through the sprinklers at the park got soaking wet and enjoyed themselves. We also invited Randy's mom and her fiance Tracy to come, so it was fun spending time with them and getting to know him. He seems like a nice guy, and we're happy for her. Then my mother in law bought a kiddie pool for the girls, she was just supposed to help, but then she ended up buying it. What a nice grandma! We sure do love her. I have pictures of the girls in the pool that I will be posting soon. I also want to post some random fun pictures from this summer, not that there's a lot, but there's some fun ones. Anyway, I promised the girls we would go out to the pool after lunch, so I guess I'd better follow through on my promise. Until next time!!

July 5th fun

I know this is a week late, but I still wanted to talk about it. We went to my mom's house and had a BBQ with the family. It was so much fun!! I love family get togethers, and this one was the funnest we've had in a while. I can't wait till we get together for the 24th. We played Lasso Golf, I stink at it, but it was a lot of fun. Everyone beat me, including Hailey, yes...I was beat by my 5 year old daughter. Oh well, anyway, so here are some of the pictures from that day.


I think Katie's face is kind of funny here, but it's cute at the same time!

Hailey found this kitty across the street and called to it over and over and over. So Randy went and got the kitten and brought it over. She was so in LOVE with this cat. Unfortunately we found out when she got home she allergic to cats. Poor thing!

You can't really see it here, but she had chalk ALL over her! She was so funny.

My sister was taking pictures of everyone's butt and I decided to add my own little bit to his butt shot.

Silly kids! It's hard to see Andy as their uncle, crazy!

These two are only four months apart in age, Zoe is so short compared to him, it's funny!! They look so cute sitting together.


We sure had a lot of fun playing together! It was a lot of fun. I love family, it's the greatest thing we have on this Earth!!! I love you all.

4th of July

This 4th of July was different than any we've ever had. We decided we'd go to the Temple to watch the Stadium of Fire fireworks. So we went to the field just below the Temple, we were with Randy's family (his mom, Sam, Justin, and Weslie) and my mom also went. We had fun, we played frisbee and fill or bust and just talked. We ran into the Grimes family so we said hi to them. Well while we were playing our game my mother in law asked where Zoe was. So I looked around for her and I couldn't see her, so I asked my sister and brother-in-law if they knew where she was. Randy had gone to the car to grab a flash light so I was going to call him to see if he'd taken Zoe with him, but then I didn't because he wouldn't have taken her. You guessed it, she had wandered off. This was a big crowd and it was dark. So we all split up to look for her, we started asking people if they had seen a little girl walk past. I was really trying to stay calm but I was starting to freak out. I went back to where we were sitting to see if anyone had found her, they hadn't but my brother-in-law asked what she was wearing so he could describe her to people. Then we headed out again. Finally Randy came back and was looking around with his flashlight. To make a long excruciating story short, my brother-in-law Justin found her. She was at the top of the hill (we were pretty much at the bottom) just reaching the sidewalk and it looked like she was getting ready to cross the street. As soon as we heard them shouting to us that they found her I grabbed Randy and just started bawling. I was so relieved to find her!! When Justin brought her to us she was just grinning like nothing in the world was wrong. Little stinker, she was probably having a ball because no one was telling her to stop, or making her turn around and walk the other way. That little one loves to walk, and she hates being told where to go.

Since then, I can't stop thinking about the what ifs, and then I feel this huge amount of guilt. How could I have let that happen? Why was I not paying closer attention? I feel like the worst parent ever! We were actually really really lucky to find her, I still can't believe it. I am so grateful that we did. When I said my prayer that night I think most of it was thank you thank you thank you!! I feel so blessed that Heavenly Father watched out for us and led us to Zoe. I can't even imagine what I would have done if we hadn't found her. I love her so much!

She woke up last night about 4:30 and after holding her for a minute I tried laying her back down. I thought I'd gotten away with it but before I got back to bed she was crying again, and in trying to get out of her crib, she fell out. So I ran in and picked her up and sat on the floor and held her. After I calmed her down I just sat there feeling so lucky that I had her in my arms. I honestly don't know what I would do if we had lost her, especially since it would have been my fault. I'm not sure how I would have gotten through that. The 10 or 20 minutes (I'm really not sure how long she was missing, it felt like forever!) that she was gone was bad enough! I truly hope I never have another experience like that again.

Zoe's Prayer

I have never seen something so cute, last night we had scriptures and afterward I said "Ok Zoe, let's say a prayer." So she folded her arms and bowed her head and started gibbering, then after a little bit she said amen, it was so cute! So then I helped her say one just like I do with the other two. She would listen then gibber when I was done, then she said amen after me. It was the cutest thing ever! Then this morning Randy wanted to hear her (he was at work last night) so I asked Zoe if she'd say the prayer so she did. I can't believe how cute it is, I love to watch her mouth when she "talks" it's so cute. I can't believe how big she is getting, it's amazing how they grow. This stage is the cutest but most frustrating, cute because they are learning and trying so many new things, but frustrating because they are in to EVERYTHING!! I guess the good out weighs the bad. I love my little Zoe so much, I can't imagine life without her, I'm glad that Heavenly Father knows what he's doing!! I'm going to try to video Zoe saying a prayer, if I do, I promise I'll share!

Death, faith, and other ramblings

So my grandma's husband died on Sunday and they are flying his body back to California tomorrow for the funeral and burial. So Walkers let my grandma have family come for a while today and see his body. I didn't really know him very well (this was my grandma's second husband) but I went to support my grandma. There was a small group there, and we just stood around visiting and stuff. Then we all moved outside because we were going to be done, but my brother was coming over from Springville (we were at Walkers in Spanish Fork) so we waited. When he got there we went in to see him again, there was just me, my mom, my brother, and my grandma. I got really emotional standing there in this little group watching her touch his hair, his face, moving his fingers, and other stuff. It was such an odd experience to stand there and look at him, it just seemed so unreal. He looked asleep and it was almost as if I expected him to get up and walk around. My emotions weren't so much because of losing him (again, I didn't know him very well) but it just struck me hard as I watched my grandma touching him that one day that's going to be me. I'm going to be smoothing my sweethearts hair down, and touching his face and hands in an attempt to say goodbye. It will also happen as I bury my parents, brothers, sisters, or who ever preceeds me in death. It was such an odd moment, then it brought back memories of seeing my father-in-law lying in his coffin with all his temple clothes on and it was almost more then I could handle. Death is such a funny thing, it's a double edged sword in certain circumstances. When they suffer in this life preceeding death it is always such a blessing to see them go, but you're sad because you're going to miss them. It makes me appreciate this gospel sooo much, I can't imagine how people handle death without it.

This is such a random blog and my thoughts seem so jumbled up, I hope it makes sense. Things are going all right, I'm still looking for a job, hopefully I'll find one soon if that's what is supposed to happen. In one way I hope I don't find one, because I can't imagine doing one more thing on top of all my other responsibilities. Other the other hand, however, I'm excited for the little break it would give me from the house and all the things I deal with here. We'll just have to see how it goes. You know, if you really think about it, life truly is such a faith building experience, it's not always easy, but we really do learn to trust that Heavenly Father is in control of everything we go through. He loves us, and he is SO aware of all the things we go through. He is so willing to help us, all we have to do is ask. It's not always easy, and sometimes pride gets in the way and makes us fall backward, but all He asks for is ONE step forward and he'll help us make more. I am so grateful for this knowledge in my life, I love this gospel so much, I'm so thankful for the path it's helped me stay on and the decisions I've made in my life because of it. It's a wonderful thing!!

Not much sense

Do you ever find yourself in a situation where you can't explain how you're feeling, and the feelings you can explain are stupid and you don't understand why you feel them? If you understood any of what I just said, you're pretty good. Sometimes I get in these really weird moods, and I can't quite explain why they come. There are times in my life where I feel like I need approval, approval from whom you might ask. That's the lame part, because I can't really tell you. Sometimes I feel like I am stuck in high school and I just want the "cool" kids to like me, and it still affects me today. High school has been over for eight years now, don't you think I could move on? Sometimes I meet someone who other people view as cool and I get nervous, and unsure of myself and I almost become obsessed with them, wondering if they would like me. It kind of becomes insanely important to me and I'll sit there and think (sorry for the language) what the hell? Why do I care?? I am so sick of seeking the approval of someone not really there, it doesn't matter what everyone thinks of me, so why, why can't I move on? I am so tired of living in this Hell of caring so much about what others think of me. Don't get me wrong, I think it's a good thing to be conscientious of yourself, but this is ridiculous. It makes me so mad, and sad, and frustrated, but I just don't know how to move on. I feel like I'm going insane, that there's something wrong with me. Why can't I feel happy with just having my own approval? Why can't I say to hell with everyone else, this is who I am, if you don't like it, leave me alone!! Is there anyone else who has ever felt this way? If there is, please let me know how it is you got past it, or how you deal with it, whatever is applicable. I'm sorry this is kind of a downer blog, I just really need to express my feelings, I really needed to talk to a friend, and seeing as I don't really have one to talk to right now I decided to write my feelings down instead. Maybe that will help me for a while, well, let's face it, even if I do get to talk to someone later it won't help. I have a very small window of opportunity to talk to someone before I push my feelings down deep and don't share them with people. Apparently it's really hard for me to fully open up to people, not really sure why, maybe I fear rejection too much. I really don't know. It's one of those mysteries in life that sometimes we solve and others times they remain a steady unknown.
There's one other thing going on with me right now that affects me every once in a while. Anyone who really knows me knows that I love to sing, I have always dreamed of singing in front of people. There are certain songs that I hear that just give me a magical feeling, that really touches me. It's at those times that I have a strong, fierce burning desire to be able to sing in a way that will make someone else feel that way. Then reality hits and I realize I don't have what it takes, I sing mediocre, I'm not terrible, but I definitely don't measure up to a lot of other people. So I get down, feeling like I could never be good enough, then I feel like I'm too old, I've missed my opportunity. I have kids, responsibilities that say it's over. Do I just give up that dream? Do I need to be content just singing to myself and kids? How do I do that? How do you let go of a dream that you've had since you can remember? I'm sure I'll be fine in a few hours, or tomorrow, I just really needed to get this out. Thanks so much for reading, I wish I had something cheerful to throw in here. I guess I could say we went to UP today, and it was a way cute movie, I loved it!! Hopefully that can lift your spirits UP! He He, ok, that was lame, anyway, thanks again for reading, any ideas or suggestions would be awesome!

Crazy Couple of Days

So Tuesday night Katie woke up with a fever and all day Wednesday she had one and a headache as well. Then before going to bed Wednesday night her fever finally broke. Then at midnight she woke up screaming. We're kind of used to this with Katie, every once in a while she'll wake up screaming, we have to go in and calm her down and either she'll lay down with us for a while or she'll go back to sleep in her own bed. Well Wednesday night was different, she kept screaming, even while we were holding her that there were spiders. She was really hot and her fever was around 102 degrees. She would scream and say they were on her legs, or hands or that they were on us. We called our home teacher at around 12:30 am and asked him to come help give her a blessing, we didn't know what else to do. We finally were able to calm her down, but she had to lay down on top of me and any time I moved my hands I had to calm her down and let her know it was just me. Finally we went back up to our bed about 2:00 in the morning and we were able to finally fall back to sleep. Later in the night Randy put her back in her bed, and she woke up screaming again. She then spent the rest of the night in our bed. So we took her to the doctor on Thursday and he said it looked like she had the beginning of an ear infection. We asked him about the previous night if he thought perhaps she was hallucinating, he said it could have been induced by the fever. Thankfully last night she slept well, except she woke up to throw up. What a crazy couple of nights. Hopefully we're on our way to full recovery, she had an ear infection at the beginning of this month too. I sure hope we're done for a while after this one. Other than that not much is going on with us, I'm still looking for a job, hopefully I'll be able to find one soon, also, we are trying to find a good home for our pet guinea pig Rosie. I am allergic to hay and at times when I hold her it makes my arms and neck red and itchy. So, it's very hard to want to hold her or give her any hay which is really good for them. So if anyone wants a pet guinea pig, she is a very pretty animal (at least I think so). She's very fun to hold, and will for the most part just sit there. Now that I've put that little plug in there, I suppose I'm done with this post. Thanks for reading!!

Hailey's Preschool Graduation

So on Thursday Hailey had her Preschool graduation, she did so good, for the most part. On some of the songs, she got distracted by a scab on her nose and stood there picking at it rather than singing. She is such a cute girl, I can't believe that she is going to go to Kindergarten next year, it's just crazy to think of my little girl growing up.

Just chillin waiting for the program to start.

Before we left, I love her little pose, the only downfall to this picture is that her skirt is pulled up a little in the front.

Again, just waiting.

This is the school loves me song, we recorded all the songs that they sang, but this one is my favorite one. Hailey loves to sing, I love to listen to her, I love my little Hailey!!

Life...

I know, I know, it's been awhile again since I've written anything. It's kind of sad, oh well, at least I am now. Things here are ok, it's tight, but hopefully things at RC Willey will pick up soon. I'm starting to look for a part time job, I'm excited but nervous. I think it will be a lot of fun to get out and be around people in a professional setting. I'm looking for morning part time because Randy is home in the mornings so we hopefully wouldn't need a babysitter. I think if I could work for about a year it would really help us get out of debt. What an awesome feeling that would be!! Well, not much else is going on, just life. The kids continue to change sooo much!! Zoe is starting to say more words, so far these are some of the words she is saying: Mom, Dad, Hailey, Katie, Zoe, eye, I, love, you, bye, hi, amen, oh boy, oh man, I think that's about all. But she also gibbers, so if you ask her a question she starts gibbering like she's answering you. It's very cute!! Katie has been a little more difficult to deal with lately. Since Tuesday she has had at the very least two accidents a day and on Saturday I finally put her in pull ups because I can't handle any more pee on the carpets. I don't know if it's just a little phase she's going through, or if it's the start of another infection. I haven't been giving her her antibiotics because I haven't called to get her prescription refilled. She hasn't had a fever, or any other symptoms, so I guess we'll see. She has also learned how to push Zoe's buttons, and boy does she ever push them!! There are times where I wish I could put Katie in a cage, but then she can also be the cutest little thing ever!! Her facial expressions crack me up, sometimes she's not really saying anything funny, but it's just the way she says it and the facial expressions she makes. It cracks me up! I love all my kids so much, I just wish I didn't get so impatient with them. It's definitely something that I need to work on, it's just not always easy. I need to work on myself quite a bit, but hopefully I'm not alone. Well, now that I've dragged on and on, I'll finish this post, so until next time....bye!

Randomness

So again it's been quite a while since I've written. Mother's Day was a lot of fun, I got to sleep in and I got breakfast in bed. We were way tired, and woke up late so we missed church, except I went to Relief Society so I could do my calling. That evening we went to my parents house and had hamburgers and other good food and just hung out and visited. It was a lot of fun. I have some pictures that I will post at a later time. I gave my mom a little book that I made, it was so awesome to actually make her something that had a lot of meaning behind it. I love my mom so much!

Lately I have been feeling like I' m in a rut. I don't really know how to motivate myself to do better, but I need to find a way. I don't really feel like I'm working toward something, I feel as if I am simply living through everyday. I want to feel like I have a purpose to my life. Things are going well, it's a little tight because there's not a lot going on at RC Willey. Hopefully Memorial Day will be a big day like it was last year, or even better than last year would be nice. Randy did kind of pick up a second job though, our land lord is going to pay him to do some of the yard work that needs to be done around here (and it's a lot) so that will help out. We really are doing all right though, and I finally feel like I'm getting back on track with my house work. I still have a long way to go, but I'm getting there. Well, I'm doing good, I need to kick myself in the butt and do better though. I want everyone to know I appreciate all they do for our family and for me. I don't know that I tell people thank you enough, but I want to start now. So, if you know me, know that you are loved and appreciated for all you do!! Oh, before I go I need to share something that Katie said. We were driving Hailey to school the other day and Hailey was talking about Gina's bird Zeus, you see he died and my sister buried him at my parents house in their back yard. On Sunday they went out with her (Gina) and put something on his grave and Hailey was talking about that in the car. Then Katie said, "Jesus needed a bird, huh Hailey" it was so cute! That was what we told them when Zeus died, was that Jesus needed Zeus in Heaven but that He would take good care of him. It was so cute to hear Katie say that though. I love my little girls! Well, until next time!

Free giveaway

So I saw this on a friends blog and decided to do it, it's always fun to try to win stuff, plus this iron looks cool. A hair blog is giving away a Corioliss 1" Black Flat Iron - Classic Pro! It's worth $200, all you need to to is go to THIS SITE and enter. You get a lot of entries for doing specific things but I think it will be worth it! Go and enter now!
http://hairandshare.blogspot.com/

Questions

I saw this on a friends blog and decided it would be fun to ask my girls these questions. Hailey's answers will be first, then Katie's.

Hailey

1. What is something mom always says to you? You say different things that you want me to do
2. What makes mom happy? me cleaning my room
3. What makes mom sad? she said a lot of different things, but in funny ways. Her first answer I believe was supposed to be when I don't do the things you ask me to do.
4. How does your mom make you laugh? You do silly things
5. What did your mom like to do when she was a child? You liked to do silly stuff that you liked when you were a kid. This was said with a question mark at the end.
6. How old is your mom? I don't know - her guess...10
7. How tall is your mom? 20?
8. What is her favorite thing to watch on TV? space
9. What does your mom do when you're not around? cry
10. What is your mom really good at? Mario (Mario Kart)
11. What is your mom not very good at? watching us when we play on our bikes
12. What does your mom do for her job? Stuff that you need to do
13. What is your mom's favorite food? macaroni and cheese and beans (chili mac)
14. What makes you proud of your mom? doing stuff that I ask you
15. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be? Not our mom
16. What do you and your mom do together? I follow you and sometimes you follow me
17. How are you and your mom the same? we do the same thing
18. How are you and your mom different? that you're a mom and I'm a kid
19. How do you know your mom loves you? tell me that you love me
20. What does your mom like most about your dad? that he does what you ask him
21. Where is your mom's favorite place to go? to your moms house
22. What is one thing you wish you could change about your mom? a guinea pig
23. What would your mom do with a million dollars? place it in a bag
24. What do you wish you could go and do with your mom? go to your moms house
25. What is one thing you hope never changes about your mom? guinea pig! Doing stuff that you like to do

Katie

1. What is something mom always says to you? you really love me so much
2. What makes mom happy? that I'm your coach
3. What makes mom sad? when I don't have something
4. How does your mom make you laugh? you play with me a lot and you laugh with me
5. What did your mom like to do when she was a child? you liked to play with me
6. How old is your mom? 5
7. How tall is your mom? big
8. What is her favorite thing to watch on TV? a scary movie you laugh at scary movies
9. What does your mom do when you're not around? you be sad
10. What is your mom really good at? you get allergic from cats,
11. What is your mom not very good at? when I'm not brushing your teeth. That's very sad that you don't brush your teeth mom. (where do they come up with this stuff?)
12. What does your mom do for her job? you cook something when you do something
13. What is your mom's favorite food? the food that you don't eat, but you eat food
14. What makes you proud of your mom? I play with toys with you
15. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be? just you
16. What do you and your mom do together? we have hug each other
17. How are you and your mom the same? we do something when we like something
18. How are you and your mom different? we eat cookies when we do it ( I'm not sure that I would be able to make her understand this question. She was also eating a cookie when I asked her this question)
19. How do you know your mom loves you? we hug each other
20. What does your mom like most about your dad? you hug him
21. Where is your mom's favorite place to go? watch him (Randy) at work
22. What is one thing you wish you could change about your mom? I turn into a snow man I would change you into a snow man. Ha Ha, funny way to understand that question.
23. What would your mom do with a million dollars? when you don't have money, you put it in some toys
24. What do you wish you could go and do with your mom? play upstairs with you
25. What is one thing you hope never changes about your mom? that you don't change into something.

I love my girls so much!! I will never understand where they come up with all the stuff they come up with. This was a lot of fun to ask them these questions, a little hard to get them to stay in one place to ask them, but fun!!

Wednesday news

I don't know why it takes me so long in between posts, I used to do write one at least once a week. I think it's a time management thing! Anyway, life here has been a little crazy, our vans transmission went out on us, so that's at the very least 450 dollars to fix, and at the most... well, I don't really know, but I've been told around 1500. Isn't life wonderful? Actually it is, I know we're blessed, but it's a little expensive at times. I guess that's a better way to put it. So, I've decided I don't like dieting, I don't know that I'll be able to do it again. What I really want to do is exercise and eat healthy, that way it's more of a lifestyle change that will allow me to not do the yo-yo effect. So hopefully I'll be able to get my butt in gear and start exercising. Things are going well here, money has been a little tight, but we're managing. The girls are growing up, but they sure are a cute handful! They say the funniest things! Like today, I was washing my hands and Katie said in a worried voice, Mom, hurry, we're wasting water! I have no idea where she really got that from. Then yesterday, I was moving from the garbage can to the counter and Hailey walked up behind me and I sort of tripped on her and my elbow hit her in the forehead (not hard). I said something about her watching where she's going and she looked at me and said "Yeah, Mom, you should look behind you before you move" It was pretty funny! I also think I heard her say to Randy "You broke my heart." I think Randy had told her to sit down and eat her food, or something like that that made her a little upset. I love them so much! I can't imagine what life would be like without them.

So Mother's Day is coming up, and a friend of mine gave me a really good idea for a gift for my mom. I'm very excited to try to put this together, homemade and thoughtful gifts are the best kind of gift!! I hope she'll know how much I love and appreciate her. She has always been a great mom and I've learned so much from her. I hope that I'll be able to show my kids the same love she showed to me.

We had our family pictures taken by a friend of mine about a week ago, and she did such a good job! I am way excited to get them back! I'll be able to put some on here soon! I'm very excited to see all of them! There were a lot that were taken, I think there were over 4 or 5 hundred. Well, not much is going on here, we're all good and happy!

It's been awhile

I have been a huge blogger slacker lately, I'm not really sure why, I guess sometimes I feel like I don't have much to blog about. A lot of things are going on right now, though, some changes that we are going to be putting into place soon. I'm excited but also a bit nervous. We have been talking a lot lately about what Randy would like to do as a career. He used to be so against going to school because he didn't really feel like it did any good. On Sunday however, he mentioned that he wasn't as against school anymore, and he's been thinking about possibly becoming an RN. While this is exciting to me, it also scares me a lot and makes me a little depressed because I look at how much LeeAnn does homework and I realize that not only would Randy be gone at school but he would also be very busy studying and doing homework. I just don't know if I'm ready to have him for such a limited time. I know if he decided to go though we would work it out. The other big change is that we're going to try to sell our car, so that we could put that money toward our credit card debt and pay off all of it by next February or March. I always used to say that we would never do it with one vehicle, but lately I just can't justify having two vehicles. For the most part I don't go anywhere, the only places I go is to take Hailey to school and to go to choir on Wednesday nights. Hailey will be done with school at the end of May and my choir won't go much beyond that so honestly I know I won't really go anywhere. I am also ready to make this sacrifice to get out of our credit card debt, I am so sick of it! Then I think I'm going to rip up our credit cards!! The next big change is that I am dieting and excercising and I am going to lose weight and get in shape. I am so tired of not being comfortable with my clothes and having nothing to wear and I don't like the way it makes me feel. So... I am really doing it! I know I've said that a couple of times before, but this time is for real and it feels good. Dieting is so hard, I do really well until I see something that I REALLY want and then it just doesn't seem worth it. I know it is though, and I really need to do this for me. So, here I go. There's also other changes that we're going to put in to place that I'm really excited for. I fall short in the mother department. I know I'm not a terrible mom but I know I could be doing better! I watched a little bit on Super Nanny the other night and she was talking to this mom saying "where was your enthusiasm? It was like you were just doing another chore, just something you had to do" I'm sure that wasn't the exact way she said it, but that's the jist. Anyway, I realized (which I've done before) that a lot of the time I look at my kids as another chore, another something I have to do. Someone else I have to take care of. And that's a really sad way to look at your kids, I want to be remembered as the mom who took time to play with my kids. I don't want it to be just another thing I have to take care of. I love my kids so much and they deserve better!! So there are some things we're going to change that will help take care of that!! I am very excited for this summer, I feel like it is going to be a summer of change! I love life right now, it just seems like we're at the brink of something wonderful! I can't wait to see what will happen this summer, I have a feeling it will be great.